Venture capital and artificial intelligence: The global tech community can’t talk enough about them. Which is why an anonymous individual (or individuals) went to the internet to make a mockery of both. The AIVC describes itself as, “The world’s first Venture Capital fund powered entirely by Artificial Intelligence.” It might be a damn good laugh, but it also leaves us wondering if a bot could pick VC investments better than a human can.
Right off the bat, it asked, “What is the highly differentiated, uniquely memorable and mildly ridiculous name you’ve given your company?” It offered extra kudos for any name ending in -ify, ily or -io.
I came up with Wetify.io for double extra credit. The AIVC fired back with a “Wow. Clever.” Not sure if I were completely projecting on the inanimate website, but what a snark monster.
As any good VC would ask, the site prompted me to identify the problem I was solving. I explained that people, especially professionals working around the clock, don’t always have time to squeeze in a shower when they’re home. Wetify.io would be there for them, whenever they feel like they’re getting on the grimy side.
According to The AIVC, it was “not yet convinced that’s a real problem.” Clearly, it has never forgotten to put on deodorant and realized it midday.
It got down to brass tacks, asking, “Is your product for irrational human beings or evil, monolithic corporates?” It did not like that I opted for consumers. Let’s leave it at that.
“Which totally hot, overcrowded and competitive space are you in? Chatbots, VRbots and Fintechbots will be placed at the top of the list,” the site read. Rude, albeit true. All I had to do was drop“on-demand economy” and I got a “Did someone turn off my fan? It is getting hot in here.”
When asked what percentage of the market my startup could potentially go after, I thought of doing some calculations, factoring in things like how regularly people shower. But then I threw in a random number. It called me out and then got over it, inquiring about the Wetify.io team. I knew how to answer this one, explaining our different backgrounds and painting us as the dream team.
Response? “Cuuuuuuuuute.” Although, I didn’t count how many Us it used, so that might be a misquote.
I was then immersed in alphabet soup, as the site spewed off business acronyms and asked for monthly growth rates. I admit I had to consult Google for the meaning of LTV and then fudged the numbers for my fake venture’s CMGR, inflating it to 65 percent.
This pleased The AIVC. It suggested I pivot to a scalable IoT startup for chess grandmasters, a concept it came up with at random, and it would invest $13 million in Wetify.io.
Jokes aside, it’s hard to say whether VC firms as we know it could one day be replaced by bots. This particular bot was made out of satire, so obviously it had no qualms with giving away money. But who’s to say that bots, if developed with a real purpose, might not eventually take over the initial vetting process for which analysts and associates are now responsible.
Featured image is public domain.